“You’re not quitting,” Michael squeaked in a tone that could only come from an individual trying to convince an omniscient God that they can’t quit their job. He followed his boss’s gaze to the stars, watching them wink back at him. How could someone who had created that ever be replaced?
God squeezed his shoulder, giving him a smile.
“Of course I can, I’m God,” she replied, clapping her hands together. The sound shook the very foundation of the room, vibrating like a storm. It was horrifying, but not as terrifying as what she said next. “Be sure to list my home fitness equipment for sale online. I could snap it away but I don’t want to be wasteful.”
Michael was stunned. His body swirled with a mixture of emotions. She couldn’t do this. He had to try to stop her and convince her that she absolutely could not leave. Still, the only words that came out were, “For sale?”
“Well, if I’m inventing a new sport to play in my retirement, I don’t really need an indoor gym,” she said as though it were common sense. She tapped the top of his clipboard to bring his attention back to Earth and slid a piece of paper on top of it. The note included a small, neatly written list of balls, bats and protective gear. “This is a list of sports equipment. Buy online, Australia would be my pick for the country of origin but I guess, given our delivery address, where you buy it from is up to you.”
She finally looked him in the eyes, and Michael felt the most panic he had that day. Her eyes were steady and hard. This wasn’t a joke. He glanced from her to the small paper on his clipboard and back again. “You have been planning this for a while?”
She nodded. “I’m a billion years old and out of ideas.”
Michael couldn’t believe it. Usually, this conversation would be over by now. It really was happening. The Universe was coming to an end and there was nothing he could do about it.