‘Bring her in!’ I called out to the coast guard that eventually came to our rescue, gesturing for them to hook onto the bow of our boat. ‘She’s not making it to port by herself!’

‘What the hell happened to you two?’ the captain called down to us, concern and confusion etched on her face.

‘Just some rough water,’ I called up to her. ‘On account of the whale shark in it.’

‘Yikes,’ she pulled a face. ‘Unlucky.’

‘Right,’ I said, glaring pointedly at my first (and only) mate, Davies. ‘Incredibly unlucky. Nobody’s fault at all.

Davies nodded alongside me, seemingly unaware that I was seconds away from drowning him before the coast guard had turned up.

‘At least we’re almost home safe,’ he said to me, once the captain had disappeared to see to her duties.

‘No thanks to you!’ I snapped. ‘I hope you enjoy marine welding, because there’s gonna be a lot of it in your future.’

‘Eh?’ he frowned, confused.

‘You almost sunk my boat!’ I yelled. ‘Throwing a fully-loaded bait board into the ocean and attracting a god-damn whale shark!’

‘Hey!’ he defended himself. ‘We don’t know for sure that’s what attracted it!’

‘I’m happy to make the assumption,’ I glared back at him. ‘And start looking for places in Melbourne that can install a boat catch too, because you’re buying me a new one of those as well!’

‘What?! Why?’

‘Because my birthday is coming up and I just think it’d be swell,’ I smiled sweetly at him. ‘Why do you think?!’

‘The shark broke it?’ he said glumly.

‘Bingo! The shark broke it,’ I grinned. ‘Which makes it…?’

‘My problem,’ he sighed.

‘Double bingo!’ I crowed. ‘I’m so proud.’

‘It might not have been my fault,’ he huffed, crossing his arms. ‘The area is prone to sharks—’

‘Plausible deniability went out the window as soon as you hooked it on the fishing line,’ I said. ‘So… get searching!’